


Our Minds, One and Together

by faithfulcynic



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst and Humor, Conflict Resolution, Family Drama, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Missions Gone Wrong, Vulcan Mind Melds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 08:57:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16971624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithfulcynic/pseuds/faithfulcynic
Summary: As a Starfleet officer, Michael accepted that her life might often be put into danger, especially since the Discovery was both the flagship for scientific exploration and second only to the Enterprise in exemplifying the sentiment of “boldly going where no one had gone before.”Unfortunately, with their connection only growing stronger, danger also meant that Sarek could often sense her distress and was prone to appearing suddenly, despite Michael’s wishes to the contrary.





	Our Minds, One and Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gleesquid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleesquid/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, gleesquid! I hope you enjoy :)

The alien forest was dense, its understory thick with green and purple plant life covered in tiny, slicing thorns, fallen trees that had been overtaken by a moss sprouting bell-shaped spores, and an uneven forest floor that shimmered faintly through pockets of sunlight. It was a picturesque landscape worthy of a Starfleet promotional campaign, marred only by the trail of blood that Michael left behind.

Their mission had been simple - a search for a missing science team who had been surveying the system. Everything after that had been complicated. The vessel had been difficult to track, the planet’s atmosphere had made scanning for the team almost impossible, the final location was an uncharted forest, and within five minutes of their beaming down they had been attacked, and whatever it was that had attacked them had been impervious to their phasers. Michael had gotten separated from her team in all the chaos and was now running for her life. Her right leg was beginning to ache and she could feel blood flowing down past her knee, but she was running at a fast pace despite her injury and the rough terrain. And so it was unfortunate when Sarek suddenly appeared in a field of stars that was briefly superimposed upon the forest bed; Michael jerked in surprise and then face planted. 

The forest went silent, muted as both literal and figurative stars faded from her vision, and then the creature howled. 

Sarek squatted beside her, taking in her wounded leg and their surroundings as Michael slowly lifted her head. She had landed on a somewhat lower level and thankfully beside a tree trunk and several bushes with leaves large enough to provide some coverage. The creature came into view a moment later, cautiously stepping forward and scanning the area for signs of its prey. It had the look of a large Klingon jackal mastiff, with long shaggy fur, an elongated snout, and a full set of teeth including three almost comically oversized fangs which Michael was now intimately familiar with. This mastiff, however, had dark fur and its sense of sight and smell appeared to be inferior to its assumed cousin. It soon continued on its way. 

“An effective, if inelegant, means of escape,” Sarek commented. 

Michael shot him a look, pushed up into a sitting position, and leaned back against the mossy log. She focused on her breathing and tried to center herself; it had been a long distance from the original transport site and, with the difficulty Discovery’s sensors was having and her communicator lost in the scramble, it was logical to assume that it would be some time before she was found. 

Sarek stood and watched her progress, impassive as always. He appeared less strained than during their previous mental connections but Michael noted a slight tightness around his eyes. He was also favoring his right leg, which indicated that they still shared a physical bond as well as their mental one. 

Good, Michael thought with satisfaction. If she had to be lost and injured on this damn planet then the very least Sarek could do was be inconvenienced by a sore leg. She hadn’t seen her surrogate father since the Discovery’s encounter with the Enterprise two months ago but their parting had not been amiable. This was because Sarek was an inflexible asshole but it was probably indecorous to tell him so. 

“Your mission, I believe, was to find the members of a missing exploratory team,” Sarek said.

“I’m fairly certain that we did,” Michael replied flatly. “We weren’t able to get a decent scan of the remains before the creatures attacked, but I am confident that they will confirm it is the team.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“It is.” 

The creature howled in the distance. Michael held her breath, wondering if she had it in her to run again, but thankfully the creature did not reappear. Sarek remained tense beside her however and Michael had the sudden insight that he was extremely uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say next. “The last time we saw each other,” he began.

This isn’t happening, she thought. They were _not_ going to do this now, not while she was potentially bleeding out in some alien forest. 

“If it’s all the same to you, Sarek,” Michael interrupted, “I’d rather not have this conversation now.”

Sarek arched an eyebrow. “A statement which implies you would be open to such a conversation in the future.”

“Sure,” she said tightly. “Later.”

“Very well. “ Sarek nodded towards the trunk she was leaning against. “Varying species of moss spores have been show to have antiseptic properties.” He paused. “They could also be toxic. I will leave it to you to make that analysis.”

“Thanks,” she replied dryly.

Sarek hesitated as if he wanted to say more but Michael pointedly looked away. Because what could he really say? He was never going to change and she was tired of hoping that he would. In the end they were just too different, just a failed cultural experiment where both sides could never understand each other.

“Live long and prosper, Michael,” Sarek said finally.

“Live long and prosper, ” she replied.

* * * *

As a Starfleet officer, Michael accepted that her life might often be put into danger, especially since the Discovery was both the flagship for scientific exploration and second only to the Enterprise in exemplifying the sentiment of “boldly going where no one had gone before.” 

Unfortunately, with their connection only growing stronger, danger also meant that Sarek could easily sense her distress and was prone to appearing suddenly despite Michael’s wishes to the contrary. 

As first introductions went, talking to thin air during the middle of a crisis was not an ideal way to reunite with the new captain, nor did she imagine that Ensign Tate felt very reassured by Michael arguing with Sarek over how the transporter had managed to fuse a part of the ensign’s body to her own. It was also discouraging that Sarek only appeared in response to her uncontrollable human reactions; she felt, for example, that being scared of a ten-foot tall, bat’leth wielding Klingon warrior manifested by a malfunctioning holo-simulator was a perfectly understandable fear response, but it being witnessed by Sarek recalled her childhood shame of being too emotional and Human. 

Mostly, however, it was the knowledge that Sarek was trying to communicate, a task that she had once charged him with, while she was now the party disinclined to participate. Acknowledging the hypocrisy in her own wishes made his visits all the more irritating.

“Ugh, parents are the worst,” Tilly agreed, commiserating with Michael over bowls of spumoni ice cream. “Mother used to lecture me about cleaning my room during her annual birthday calls when I was at the Academy.” She rolled her eyes. “And critique my hair, of course. But we’ve come to appreciate each other over time.”

“How did you accomplish that?” Michael asked.

“Oh. Well. Being on a spaceship light years away from her helped,” Tilly said around a mouthful of ice cream. She frowned. “Actually, I’m pretty sure she’s called me on the wrong day for the past two years.”

“Ouch,” Michael said.

“Yeah.”

Vulcans didn’t celebrate birthdays the way humans did but Amanda always gave her a present anyway and every year there was a cake lit by the number of candles that corresponded to her age; Sarek was rarely there and if he was his contribution was to ask Michael to calculate the amount of breath needed to blow out those candles depending on varying factors such as distance, gravity, future age, or environmental temperature. 

Michael sighed. “Yeah.”

* * * *

The Discovery had been in search of the person or persons responsible for the attack on a small outpost, a search that had led her team to a dive bar heavily frequented by Nausicaans who apparently didn’t like questions. The last thing Michael could remember was drawing her weapon after Lieutenant Zeller had taken a chair to the back of his head; the bruise on the side of her neck indicated that an inexperienced person had incapacitated Michael with a hypo-spray. She had awoken in a small, windowless room with several shelves and storage containers filled with an odd assortment of objects that Michael could only assume were stolen goods. 

“These handcuffs appear to be Enolian,” Michael mused as she examined her restraints. “An older model thankfully without the pain receptors.” A precursory study of the room had revealed various components of Federation tech, several skimpy pieces of Orion apparel, and some Vulcan ceremonial artifacts. Nothing that was useful for picking locks or breaking them. 

Sarek peered into a few of the containers and reported the same. He added that he believed the Vulcan artifacts had been ones reported stolen last year. 

“I think this is a Nausicaan cargo station,” she told him. “This room appears to be some sort of storage locker.”

He rubbed one of his wrists and then rotated it lightly. “Then you are most likely on one of the asteroids the Nausicaans use for their base of operations,” Sarek replied, “which means that you must now assess how you will escape the station once you exit this room.”

“Not to mention find my team if they are still alive,” Michael added.

“It is quite the challenge.”

Michael nodded. “I am up to the task.”

“Good.” 

She expected he would leave but Sarek surprised her by remaining where he was. He continued to inspect the room even though Michael was sure he had come to the same conclusion regarding the effectiveness of its contents. 

But his presence was not entirely unwelcome. It would be more productive to brainstorm with another person why the Nausicaans had kidnapped her.

“Perhaps an interrogation,” he suggested.

“Undoubtedly. But why should they wish to interrogate me? That we stumbled upon their operation is certain but Starfleet’s previous altercations with Nausicaan pirates has never shown a tendency towards taking prisoners.” She frowned. “It is also puzzling as to why they would attack the outpost in the first place. Its resources are limited, not to mention not especially worthy of Nausicaan guramba.”

Sarek tilted his head. “I am unfamiliar with the word.”

“One of the inmates of the prison facility I was incarcerated in had several run-ins with Nausicaans,” Michael explained. “Guramba, as I understand it, means to have gumption or nerve. To attack a small outpost is certainly within their capabilities but it is not an especially thrilling, rewarding, or, most importantly, boast worthy… huh.”

“A plan?” Sarek returned to her side. “I confess I am unable to see a means escape, at least not without several days worth of repurposing the materials at hand.”

She smiled. “The inmate I knew also told me about a popular Nausicaan drinking game which tested one’s nerve. Have you ever played darts?”

“No, but I understand the concept,” he replied. “Small missiles are thrown at a circular scoreboard, the center usually being the highest scoring portion and therefore the most desirable target.” 

“The scoreboard in this version is your body.”

Sarek blinked. “I do not see how allowing yourself to be perforated with these … darts will aid in your escape.”

“Points are acquired by being able to withstand pain,” she said. “I will challenge the Nausicaans to a match and then show my own guramba by overcoming any physical discomfort. This will open negotiations to our being returned to the Discovery. If I’m correct about their intentions that is.”

“I understand your logic,” he replied slowly, “however, are you certain you could not be tested by some other means? Perhaps one which would do less potential damage to your person, such as a general knowledge contest or the diversion where teams compete by bouncing spheres into containers filled with an alcoholic beverage.”

“Sarek.”

“Human chess perhaps?”

Michael rolled her eyes. “I’ll be all right.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” he replied. “But I will remain as long as I am able.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Your mother tells me that it is inappropriate to leave when you are on the brink of death,” Sarek said. “Even after I assured her that you would not be dying. She was quite … verbal.”

“Ah.” Michael could only recall hearing Amanda raise her voice twice to Sarek, once when Michael was very young and Sarek had reprimanded her too harshly, and the other when Sarek had disowned Spock after he decided to join Starfleet instead of the Vulcan Expeditionary Group. Michael had been surprised at the strength of Amanda’s emotions and was equally surprised by the effectiveness they had in moving Sarek to reconsider his position. At least regarding Michael. 

It was a perfect segue into a conversation Michael still didn’t want to have but Sarek barreled forward despite their mutual discomfort. “I understand that you are angry about Spock-” 

“I’m not angry, Sarek,” she replied, “I’m just disappointed.”

“If my experience with humans has taught me anything it is that you are capable of having varying emotions simultaneously, therefore your statement is incorrect and I suspect of a similar kind to ‘It is no big deal’ or ‘I am fine.’”

Michael gave a thin smile. “I’m fine.”

Although Sarek would never name it such, Michael could feel his frustration. He rotated his wrist again, this time with a more forceful degree of rotation. But Michael still wasn’t ready. “You can stay while I await the guards. It might be advisable, however-”

“If you do survive this foolish attempt,” he started.

“Do not tell Amanda,” they finished together. 

Michael smiled briefly and they spent the rest of the time waiting in an almost companionable silence that she was grateful to Sarek for conceding. Finally she heard movement on the other side door and Sarek left per her wishes. Michael took a deep breath, gathered her courage, and started banging on the door. 

* * * *

“I’m beginning to question Starfleet’s capability for effectively running their away missions,” Sarek commented.

“It could have gone better,” Michael allowed as the line that suspended her over the pit of Andorian ice spiders began to fray.

* * * *

“Do you think it’s possible for people to change?” Michael asked Saru.

They were sitting in the mess hall, a quiet moment after a week of hell that had originally ended in the Discovery’s destruction. As one of the people who had been through that timeline, the other being at home recuperating on Vulcan, Saru understood what she was really asking. 

“My father is a devout man,” Saru said, “but I think deep down he knows that the oppression by the Ba’ul against our people is wrong. Still, I suspect he will continue to maintain The Great Balance despite knowing this because change is difficult. For what it’s worthy, Sarek appears to be trying.”

“I thought he was trying before,” Michael said, shaking her head. “But then he said … well, there’s the human expression of going ‘one step forward, two steps back.’”

“I have heard this expression,” Saru replied, “As well as it’s companion – ‘growth is not always linear.’” Michael made a face and Saru gave a soft, clicking laugh. “Change from the known is never easy and as a Kelpian I understand the desire to run away from the things that can hurt you. But fear can also keep us from moving forward. If you are ready for a better relationship with your father, then you must confront Sarek and then choose whether or not to accept his reply.”

“You make it sound easy,” she said glumly.

“We just averted the destruction of the Discovery, prevented the assassination of the Tellarite ambassador, and aided in the matrimony of Lieutenants Novak and Waari. I guess I believe anything is now possible.”

* * * *

Sarek appeared to be at a loss for words but had sense enough to run after her.

“Hormonal space rabbits!” Michael yelled in explanation. 

* * * *

Michael fought to open her eyes but they felt heavy; she could only manage a few slow blinks of vision. Red lights flashing. A man slumped over the flight console. Blood. Debris. Sarek crouched down beside her. Darkness.

Cool fingers pressed softly against the left side of Michael’s face. “My mind to your mind,” she heard him say and then the world snapped back into focus. 

They had been returning from a conference when an unidentified object had hit the shuttle causing the engines to fail. Lieutenant Sandoval had successfully piloted the shuttle back towards a nearby planet but the landing had been rough. The interior of the shuttlecraft showed extensive damage with broken panels, exposed wires, pieces of siding, scattered equipment, and Tilly’s bag of souvenirs littered across the floor. The ensign was nowhere to be seen and Sandoval was either unconscious or dead at his console. Michael’s own body felt like she had gone head-to-head with a tardigrade and had lost badly; she had landed on the floor as well.

“I know that to make an assumption is an action that you find repugnant,” Michael said, “but I think this shuttlecraft isn’t going anywhere.”

Sarek ignored her joke. “I sensed that you were in imminent distress,” he said quietly. “I did not anticipate … this.”

“It’s not that bad,” Michael said, which was a bald-faced lie because she could barely move her head, the feeling in her legs was stiff bordering on unresponsive, and her back felt fused to the floor. A probable spinal chord injury, she diagnosed. And possibly too much time spent with optimistic humans.

He frowned. “I can see that the ensign has treated you for a broken leg and multiple burns, and I can only _assume_ you have internal bleeding as well as a concussion or brain injury.”

“Where is –“

“Please don’t try to move, Michael. Ensign Tilly has left with the intention of finding help. It is best that you remain still and try not to excite yourself.”

Michael tried to relax but the loss of feeling in her legs was becoming more apparent as was the noticeable lack of pain. Sarek, by contrast, was practically scowling and beads of sweat were starting to form at his brow. 

“Our connection is hurting you,” she said. “You should go.”

“I am using our connection to strengthen you until help arrives,” Sarek said. “My discomfort is tolerable and the circumstances are currently beyond your capability. Therefore I will not.”

Michael waited a beat. “Amanda found out about the Nausicaans huh?”

He actually sighed. “I have fully never understood the human need for humor in times of stress.”

“It’s called lightening the mood, Sarek.”

“I do not need to be consoled,” he replied sharply. “Because I am confident that you will prevail. Starfleet, however, will be receiving an extensive report on shuttlecraft maintenance, a discussion of safety violations, and a review of the proper surveillance of local phenomena.”

Michael smiled. “You do care.”

Sarek grimaced. She couldn’t tell if it was because of the strain of their connection or the implication that he had feelings. “I have always … cared what has happened to you, Michael.” 

He paused but, considering he was using all of his strength to keep her alive, she didn’t interrupt. “When I was forced to choose between you and Spock, I reasoned that, as a half-Vulcan, Spock would have a greater chance of acceptance, whereas it was clear that the prejudice against humans would make your integration slow and difficult. I told myself that Starfleet would be a better for you and purposefully ignored the fact that you had earned your position on the Expeditionary Force while Spock had not yet done so.” Sarek shook his head. “You are correct in your pronouncement that I find assumptions distasteful and yet it was I who assumed that Spock would wish to join the Expeditionary Force. I sacrificed your future for nothing.”

Michael appreciated that he was finally acknowledging his decision out loud. “I understand, Sarek, and I have forgiven you. Mostly. But that choice is not why I am angry.”

“Is it not?” Sarek frowned. “Then I do not understand. I thought our reunion with Spock during the Discovery’s aid of the Enterprise had brought my past betrayal to your mind again.”

“On the contrary,” Michael said, “what was on my mind that day was a desire to help my family. To be there for both you and Spock.”

“It is not your burden to be a mediator between us.”

“I agree, although I think you would benefit greatly by listening to _someone_ with regards to Spock. But that’s not what you said that day. Do you remember?”

Sarek considered. “I cannot recall what I could have said to cause such a rift between us.” 

She shrugged. Sarek opened his mouth as if to tell Michael that gestures were worth less than vocalization when he suddenly winced and clamped his eyes shut. Michael felt their connection waver and then a sharp snap of pain hit her body. A deep chill started to seep into her flesh as the stars fought to illuminate the blackness of space and Sarek began to fade. 

Time skipped as one moment Sarek was beside her and the next he was gently holding her face. “Stay with me, Michael.” 

“You should go,” Michael whispered, fighting against sleep. “Safer.”

“You are always telling me to go,” she heard him say. 

“And you always push me away,” she replied and then there was only darkness.

***

The captain looked at a section of space full of a myriad of shining stars that was also supposedly free of hostile aliens, astrophysical phenomenon, and booby-trapped vessels. “Right,” she snorted.

Michael had been distracted by the appearance of Sarek on the bridge. It had been a month since the accident and, just as Sarek had predicted, Michael had recovered. He had also sent the report as he had threatened. But there had been no emergency this time; she had simply thought that it would have been nice to share a peaceful moment with Sarek for once and then he had arrived. 

The crew was used to Michael seeing Sarek by now. “Use my ready room, Burnham,” the captain said. “No rush. We’ll be taking it this slow and steady.”

“I do not sense anything, Captain,” Saru said, puzzled. 

“Exactly, Number One,” Michael heard the captain reply as she went into the ready room. Sarek followed. 

It was almost surreal to be in a place with Sarek and not be in imminent peril. Like the Captain, Michael felt skeptical; Sarek was also eyeing the room with a critical eye. But nothing came, no disaster to avoid or crisis to avert. No reason to put this off anymore.

Michael took a deep breath. “The last time we saw each other,” she began. “I mean when Discovery came to the aid of the Enterprise, you and Spock were so at odds with each other. I only wished to be of aid. I said I wanted to help my family …”

“And I replied that we were not a family,” he continued quietly. “Upon reflection I realized that I did not remember our dialogue initially because it had occurred directly after my dispute with Spock and I had been-“

“Angry?”

“Provoked into an illogical state,” Sarek corrected. “As such, once I could recall my reply, I realized that it was a default, a reliance on the technical definition of the word as a means of protecting myself because-“

“Change is hard,” Michael said quietly. 

“Yes,” he said. 

At least they could agree about something, Michael thought. 

“I know that you shaped me into a logical being, as near Vulcan as possible,” she said, “but I am also human. When you said we weren’t a family, again, it hurt me. Although I am not your biological child, I have always thought of us as a family and for me the definition of family is a social group who will always support each other despite any perceived flaws or occasional lapses in logic. If you are opposed to this interpretation, I think it is best to know now so that I can assess how I will wish to move forward in our relationship.”

“I am not opposed,” Sarek replied slowly. “Though I do not fully understand a response based on emotion, I recognize that this distinction is important to you and therefore is a condition I am willing to meet. I have also come to realize that a family does not necessarily have to be defined as a biological unit.”

“But?”

“Although I know you wish it otherwise, my relationship with Spock may never recover.” Sarek’s expression was neutral, but Michael could feel their mental bond grow momentarily heavy then relax as if exhaled. “Things have been said that cannot be unsaid. I accept your support but would iterate that it is not your role to mediate between us. Spock and I will come to our own understanding.”

Michael could see their argument potentially stretching out over years given how stubborn they both were. But she could not give Sarek terms and then expect him not to have his own. “I accept.”

He nodded. “Then please accept the apology of your flawed parent who will attempt to do better in the future. I am sorry, Daughter.”

“I accept your apology, Father,” Michael said.

There was a sense of calm that she hadn’t felt in a long time; Michael smiled. Sarek, of course, did not but she could feel that he was satisfied by their reconciliation. It was a peaceful moment of resolution that was naturally interrupted when the ship suddenly rocked and Michael was pitched forward.

“Commander Burnham!” the captain called. “To the bridge.”

Michael boosted off the floor. “Don’t say it.”

“I have said nothing,” Sarek replied. He raised an eyebrow. “However, the Discovery’s persistence in encountering hazardous situations is the strongest argument I have heard for the existence in a supernatural deity. Perhaps this ship would be best served by a supply of sacramental water upon its next Starbase visit.”

She rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe some spiritual amulets.”

“Goodbye, Father.”

Sarek saluted. A little too smugly, if such a thing were possible. “Live long and prosper, Daughter.”

**Author's Note:**

> My guess for next season is that Number One from the Enterprise will become the Discovery's new captain, but I haven't confirmed a name for her which is why she's only referred to as the captain. Other named officers are made up for the story. 
> 
> Also, there are references to Tilly and Saru's adventures from the Star Trek Shorts but I don't think you have to see them to understand the fic :)


End file.
